Many leaders out there are simply bad leaders. In what way? They put themselves and their own needs first, they don’t listen to or trust their team, they don’t share crucial information to empower others, they hinder people’s growth, and they create a toxic environment driven by fear and unhealthy competition among employees. These are just a few examples of how some people can fail at leadership.
Sadly, I have encountered many such individuals in my journey. The worst part is seeing how others react around them — they often become smaller, lose confidence in themselves, and start to underperform. Does this sound familiar? Have you ever witnessed such a situation, either first-hand or as an observer?
The majority of these toxic leaders — let’s call them that to minimise the need for swear words in this blog post — never realise they are, in fact, toxic. They often believe they are good leaders. They think their way of leading is the way of leading because that’s all they know. Realising that one's leadership style needs an upgrade is a long and difficult process that usually starts with the gift of feedback.
Usually, someone on the receiving end of that leadership style, or a peer, holds up a mirror. They start expressing how that style affects them and others, offering an opportunity to explore alternative approaches. This doesn’t often happen, as giving unsolicited feedback to a superior or even a peer is often not easy, but it does happen. At that point, the leader has the opportunity to either reject that feedback or welcome it as a chance for self-reflection, analysis, and improvement. It can be rather illuminating and beautiful to witness.
In my latest interview for Design Voices Elevated, design leader Sara Bellini shared her experience in this respect. It takes courage, the ability to show vulnerability, and a lot of self-confidence to admit and share such a journey of realisation and improvement. She did, and I am grateful to her for that.
If you are a leader responsible for one or multiple teams, here is a guideline to help you start your own reflection process:
Actively seek feedback. If you are in a leadership position, it is unlikely that people will proactively offer you feedback. Reach out and ask for it. Don’t just approach those you like; make a point of reaching out to those you don’t have a strong connection with. You can choose written feedback or a conversation, and use any structure you prefer. Many people find the start-stop-continue structure effective.
Foster an environment where feedback is welcome. Lead by example by giving feedback to your colleagues and encouraging them to do the same with each other. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.
Listen to understand, not to respond. In fact, you shouldn’t respond immediately at all. If difficult feedback is shared with you, take it away and reflect on it for a few days. Then, revisit it with an open mind.
Assume positive intent. Start with the premise that the other person has your best interests at heart.
Make it a routine. Monthly, bi-monthly, quarterly — whatever works for you, but make sure feedback becomes a regular practice.
Changing one’s leadership style is not easy, but it is not impossible. People often believe that a leadership style is innate and tied to one’s personality. Nothing could be further from the truth. You can actively work on your leadership style to gradually become the best possible version of yourself at any given time. A good coach can help with this, as they will keep you on track with regular self-reflection and action. If you need one, you know where to find me ;)